Variations on Burgers and Nightmares

Barbecued Hamburgers

3 T shortening

3 lbs. ground beef

3 large onions, finely chopped

1 clove garlic, minced

1 T salt

1 1/2 T black pepper

1/2 t ground red pepper

2 t chili powder

2 t Worcestershire sauce

1/4 c flour

1 1/4 c canned tomatoes

3/4 c ketchup

Melt shortening in heavy skillet. Combine ground beef, onions, and garlic. Cook in skillet until lightly browned. Add seasonings. Stir in flour. Add tomatoes and ketchup, mixing well. Simmer 15 to 20 minutes until thickened. Spoon between split buns to make hot sandwiches. Makes 12 servings.

From Farm Journal's Country Cook Book, 1959.

The book notes: "These spicy sandwiches are great favorites with men at country sales." And the previous owner starred it, so she must agree.

Here's another burger variation, Pioneer Drumsticks, from Cooking Out of Doors by the Girl Scouts of America, 1960.

3 lbs. chopped beef

1 c. cornflakes, crumbled fine

2 eggs (optional)

12 rolls or 24 slices of bread

salt, pepper, onion if desired

Mix beef, seasonings, eggs, and cornflakes together thoroughly. Wrap a portion around the end of a stick, squeezing in place evenly. Make it long and thin, not a ball. Be sure there are no air spaces in it. (Watch out for big pieces of cornflakes.) Cook slowly over coals, turning frequently so all sides are evenly cooked. Twist slightly to take off stick. Serve in a roll. Some prefer to roll meat in crumbled cornflakes after placing it on the stick to make a crust. Try it both ways.

Didn’t the most recent Ken Burns special mention how cornflakes played a key role in the taming of the American West? I’m not sure I’d trust this cookbook anyway, it contains the following which is either a) an April Fool’s day dish or b) an illegal form of hazing. You decide.

Salmon Wiggle (off to a flying start with the name itself)

3 (1 lb.) cans of salmon

2 (1 lb. 4 oz.) cans of peas (mmmm, canned salmon and peas, I can smell it now)

1 T lemon juice (carefully measure that, wouldn’t want to get crazy with the lemon juice, more than that and you might actually be able to taste it)

¼ cup fat

¼ cup flour

3 cups milk (can you tell where this recipe is going by now?)

1 t salt

Pepper

Toast or crackers

Drain the salmon and peas but save the liquid to add to white sauce. (Would that be fish juice and pea pee?) Flake salmon with a fork and season with lemon juice. Prepare a white sauce with fat, flour, milk, and liquid from the salmon and peas. Season with salt and pepper. Add salmon and peas and heat thoroughly. (You’ll known it’s ready when you hear the girls weeping in anticipation.) Serve on hot buttered toast or crackers.

I'm surprised this didn't appear in my dream last night.