Save Sugar!

Still looking at Foods That Will Win The War And How To Cook Them, by C. Houston Goudiss and Alberta M. Goudiss, 1918, this time on sugar.

"One ounce of sugar less per person, per day, is all our Government asks of us to meet the world sugar shortage. One ounce of sugar equals two scant level tablespoonfuls and represents a saving that every man, woman and child should be able to make. Giving up soft drinks and the frosting on our cakes, the use of sugarless desserts and confections, careful measuring and thorough stirring of that which we place in our cups of tea and coffee, and the use of syrup, molasses or honey on our pancakes and fritters will more than effect this saving."

"It seems but a small sacrifice, if sacrifice it can be called, when one recognizes that cutting down sugar consumption will be most beneficial to national health. The United States is the largest consumer of sugar in the world. (The more things change, the more they stay the same.) In 1916 Germany's consumption was 20 lbs. per person per year, Italy's 29 to 30 lbs., that of France 37, of England 40, while the United States averaged 85 lbs. This enormous consumption is due to the fact that we are a nation of candy-eaters. We spend annually $80,000,000 on confections. These are usually eaten between meals, causing digestive disturbances as well as unwarranted expense. Sweets are a food and should be eaten at the close of the meal, and if this custom is established during the war, not only will tons of sugar be available for our Allies, but the health of the nation improved." 

(I guess we had a post-war rebound, the hope that this would change national habits permanently did not manifest. The current estimates I find range from 150-170 lbs of sugar per person per year now.)

"The average daily consumption of sugar per person in this country is 5 ounces, and yet nutritional experts agree that not more than 3 ounces a day should be taken. The giving up of one ounce per day will, therefore, be of great value in reducing many prevalent American ailments. Flatulent dyspepsia, rheumatism, diabetes, and stomach acidity are only too frequently traced to an oversupply of sugar in our daily diet."

(I always knew it was the sugar in that broccoli that gave me issues.)

"By the use of marmalades, jams and jellies canned during the season when the sugar supply was less limited, necessity for the use of sugar can be vastly reduced. By the addition to desserts and cereals of dried fruits, raisins, dates, prunes and figs, which contain large amounts of natural sugar, the sugar consumption can be greatly lessened. By utilizing leftover syrup from canned or preserved fruits for sweetening other fruits, and by the use of honey, molasses, maple sugar, maple syrup and corn syrup, large quantities of sugar may be saved. The substitution of sweetened condensed milk for dairy milk in tea, coffee and cocoa--in fact, in all our cooking processes where milk is required--will also immeasurably aid in sugar conservation. The substitutes mentioned are all available in large amounts. Honey is especially valuable for children, as it consists of the more simple sugars which are less irritating than cane sugar, and there is no danger of acid stomach from the amounts generally consumed."

WHEATLESS, EGGLESS, BUTTERLESS, MILKLESS, SUGARLESS CAKE

1 cup corn syrup

2 cups water

2 cups raisins

2 tablespoons fat

1 teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 teaspoon nutmeg

1-1/2 cups fine cornmeal, 2 cups rye flour; or, 3-1/2 cups whole wheat flour

1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder, or, 1/2 teaspoon soda

Cook corn syrup, water, raisins, fat, salt and spices slowly 15 minutes. When cool, add flour, soda or baking powder, thoroughly blended. Bake in slow oven 1 hour. The longer this cake is kept, the better the texture and flavor. This recipe is sufficient to fill one medium-sized bread pan.

SOUR MILK GINGER BREAD

2 tablespoons fat

1/4 cup molasses

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup sour milk

1 teaspoon soda

2 cups whole wheat flour

1 teaspoon ginger

Mix soda and molasses. Add other ingredients. Bake in muffin pans 20 minutes or loaf 40 minutes.

SPICED OATMEAL FRUIT CAKES

1-3/4 cups whole wheat flour

3/4 cup cooked oatmeal

2/3 cup corn syrup

1/2 cup raisins, dates, prunes or figs

1/4 teaspoon soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon cinnamon

3 tablespoons fat

Heat the corn syrup and fat. Sift dry ingredients and add to first mixture. Add fruit last. Bake in muffin pans for 30 minutes.

SOY BEAN WAFERS

1 cup soy beans, finely chopped

1/2 cup butter or shortening

1/4 cup sugar

1/3 cup corn syrup

1/2 teaspoon lemon or vanilla

1/2 cup flour

1 egg

2 teaspoons baking powder

Soak beans over night, boil for 1 hour. Drain. Cool and put through food-chopper. Cream butter and sugar, add beans, egg. Sift flour with baking powder and add to first mixture. Drop by teaspoonfuls on a baking sheet and bake 8 minutes in a hot oven.

WARTIME TAFFY

2 cups corn syrup

1/2 teaspoon soda

1 teaspoon water

2 tablespoons vinegar

Boil the syrup for fifteen minutes, then add the soda. Cook until a little snaps brittle when dropped in cold water. Add the vinegar when this stage is reached and pour into oiled pans. When cool enough to handle, pull until white; make into inch-thick rolls and clip off into neat mouthfuls with oiled scissors, or chill and break into irregular pieces when cold.

PEANUT BRITTLE

1 cup corn syrup

1 tablespoon fat

1 cup peanuts

Boil syrup and fat until brittle when tested in cold water. Grease a pan, sprinkle the roasted and shelled peanuts in it, making an even distribution, then turn in the syrup. When almost cold mark into squares. Cocoanut, puffed wheat or puffed rice may be used for candy instead of peanuts.

Going Meatless--sorta

More from Foods That Will Win The War And How To Cook Them, by C. Houston Goudiss and Alberta M. Goudiss, 1918, this time on the subject of meat.

“As a nation we eat and waste 80 per cent. more meat than we require to maintain health. This statement, recently issued by the United States Food Administration, is appalling when we consider that there is a greater demand for meat in the world to-day than ever before, coupled with a greatly decreased production. The increase in the demand for meat and animal products is due to the stress of the war. Millions of men are on the fighting line doing hard physical labor, and require a larger food allowance than when they were civilians. To meet the demand for meat and to save their grains, our Allies have been compelled to kill upward of thirty-three million head of their stock animals, and they have thus stifled their animal production. This was burning the candle at both ends, and they now face increased demand handicapped by decreased production. America must fill the breach.”

“Although most persons believe that protein can only be obtained from meat, it is found in many other foods, such as milk, skim milk, cheese, cottage cheese, poultry, eggs, fish, dried peas, beans, cow peas, lentils and nuts. […]It is our manifest duty to learn how to make the best use of these foods in order to save beef, pork and mutton, to be shipped across the sea. This means that the housekeeper has before her the task of training the family palate to accept new food preparations. Training the family palate is not easy, because bodies that have grown accustomed to certain food combinations find it difficult to get along without them, and rebel at a change. If these habits of diet are suddenly disturbed we may upset digestion, as well as create a feeling of dissatisfaction which is equally harmful to physical well-being. The wise housekeeper will therefore make her changes gradually.”

“So the housekeeper who goes to her task of training the family palate to accept meat substitutes and meat economy dishes, who revolutionizes her methods of cooking so as to utilize even "the pig's squeak," will be doing her bit toward making the world safe for democracy.”

There is a flaw in this argument that I am contrary enough to point out: if these other sources of protein are so wonderful, why would we not conserve THEM to be sent overseas to the Allies? I mean wouldn’t it be easier to ship a sack of lentils than a side of beef? Especially in 1918 when preservation and transportation would have been so much trickier. But I’ll cease playing devil’s advocate and post some of the recipes, which really, are not a bad thing to try for both nutrition and economy’s sake.

MOCK DUCK

1 flank steak

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon pepper

1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

1 cup breadcrumbs

1 tablespoon onion juice

1 tablespoon chopped parsley

1/2 teaspoon poultry seasoning

1 pint boiling water

1/3 cup of whole wheat flour

Reserve the water and the flour. Mix other ingredients. Spread on steak. Roll the steak and tie. Roll in the flour. Brown in two tablespoons of fat. Add the water--cover and cook until tender.

Wait, a minute, we’re eating steak in order to conserve DUCK for the Allies? Actually, hand me that steak, those Europeans can have all the duck they want.

BATTLE PUDDING

BATTER

1 cup flour

1/2 cup milk

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 egg

4 tablespoons water

1/2 teaspoon salt

FILLING

2 cups coarsely chopped cold cooked meat

1 tablespoon drippings

1 medium-sized potato

1 cup stock or hot water

salt and pepper

1 small onion

Any cold meat may be used for this. Cut it into inch pieces. Slice the onion and potato and fry in drippings until onion is slightly browned. Add the meat and stock, or hot water, or dissolve in hot water any left-over meat gravy. Cook all together until potato is soft, but not crumbled; season with the pepper and salt. Thicken with a tablespoon of flour and turn into a pudding dish.Make a batter by sifting together flour, baking-powder and salt; stir in the egg and milk, mixed with the water. Beat hard until free from lumps, then pour over meat and vegetables in the pudding and bake until brown.

MEAT SHORTCAKE

1-1/2 cups flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

3 tablespoons shortening

2 teaspoons baking powder

2 cups chopped, cooked meat

1 teaspoon onion juice

1/2 cup gravy or soup stock

Salt and pepper

3/4 cup milk and water

Mix flour, salt and baking powder. Rub in shortening, and mix to dough with milk and water. Roll out to quarter of an inch thickness, bake in layer cake tins. Put together with the chopped meat mixed with the onion and seasoning, and heated hot with the gravy or stock. If stock is used, thicken with a tablespoon of flour mixed with one of butter, or butter substitute. Serve as soon as put together. Cold cooked fish heated in cream sauce may be used for a filling instead of the meat.

NUT AND CHEESE CROQUETTES

2 cups stale breadcrumbs

1 cup milk

1 yolk of egg

1 cup chopped nuts

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon cayenne

1/2 cup grated cheese

Shape and roll in dried breadcrumbs. Bake 20 minutes.

BOSTON ROAST

1 teaspoon onion juice

1 cup grated cheese

1 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon cayenne

1 cup beans (kidney)

About 1 cup breadcrumbs

Soak and cook beans. Mix all ingredients into loaf. Baste with fat and water. Bake 30 minutes. Serve with tomato sauce.

MEATLESS SAUSAGE

1 cup soaked and cooked dried peas, beans, lentils or lima beans 1/2 cup dried breadcrumbs

1/4 cup fat

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon sage

Mix and shape as sausage. Roll in flour and fry in dripping.

Foods That Will Win The War

Poor blog, you have languished, neglected, through the stomach flu pandemic that has made such an all-inclusive assault on my family. It has been a complete rout with the bodies of the fallen hanging over toilets all across town. This bug has vanquished even the mighty saltine and 7-up panacea handed down by our foremothers.  Heck, I couldn’t manage plain tea without another run for the bathroom. There’s only one place to turn to for any comfort and that is: Foods That Will Win The War And How To Cook Them, by C. Houston Goudiss and Alberta M. Goudiss, 1918.While it wasn’t written with invalids in mind, who would not find their resolve strengthened by this stirring argument:

“Food will win the war, and the nation whose food resources are best conserved will be the victor. This is the truth that our government is trying to drive home to every man, woman and child in America. We have always been happy in the fact that ours was the richest nation in the world, possessing unlimited supplies of food, fuel, energy and ability; but rich as these resources are they will not meet the present food shortage unless every family and every individual enthusiastically co-operates in the national saving campaign as outlined by the United States Food Administration.”

“A little bit of saving in food means a tremendous aggregate total, when 100,000,000 people are doing the saving. One wheatless meal a day would not mean hardship; there are always corn and other products to be used. Yet one wheatless meal a day in every family would mean a saving of 90,000,000 bushels of wheat, which totals 5,400,000,000 lbs. Two meatless days a week would mean a saving of 2,200,000 lbs. of meat per annum. One teaspoonful of sugar per person saved each day would insure a supply ample to take care of our soldiers and our Allies. These quantities mean but a small individual sacrifice, but when multiplied by our vast population they will immeasurably aid and encourage the men who are giving their lives to the noble cause of humanity on which our nation has embarked.”

So really, in a way, spending a day or two unable to eat is a noble thing. Think how much wheat, meat, sugar, and fat was saved, especially at this time of year! Those are the 4 foods this recipe book focuses on; let’s start with wheat and I’ll cover the others in later posts.

WHEAT

Baking your own bread is apparently, unpatriotic, at least if you’re a poor baker.

“Another source of waste of which few of us take account is home-made bread. Sixty per cent. of the bread used in America is made in the home. When one stops to consider how much home-made bread is poorly made, and represents a large waste of flour, yeast and fuel, this housewifely energy is not so commendable. The bread flour used in the home is also in the main wheat flour, and all waste of wheat at the present time increases the shortage of this most necessary food. Fuel, too, is a serious national problem, and all coal used in either range, gas, or electric oven for the baking of poor bread is an actual national loss. There must be no waste in poor baking or from poor care after the bread is made, or from the waste of a crust or crumb. Waste in your kitchen means starvation in some other kitchen across the sea.”

However, quick breads, though possibly hazardous to your health, are strongly encouraged, and cornmeal shines like a star on the flagpole.

“Even with all possible care to prevent waste, yeast breads will not conserve our wheat supply so well as quick breads, because all yeast breads need a larger percentage of wheat. The home baker can better serve her country by introducing into her menus numerous quick breads that can be made from cornmeal, rye, corn and rye, hominy, and buckwheat. Griddle cakes and waffles can also be made from lentils, soy beans, potatoes, rice and peas.”

CORNMEAL RAGGED ROBINS

1-1/2 cups cornmeal

1 cup bread flour

1-1/2 teaspoons salt

1-1/3 cups milk

2-1/2 teaspoons cream of tartar

4 tablespoons fat

1-1/4 teaspoons soda

Sift dry ingredients. Cut in the fat. Add liquid and drop by spoonfuls on greased baking sheet. Bake in hot

oven 12 to 15 minutes. These may be rolled and cut same as baking powder biscuits.

TAMALE PIE

2 cups cornmeal

5 cups water (boiling)

2 tablespoons fat

1 teaspoon salt

1 onion

2 cups tomatoes

2 cups cooked or raw meat cut in small pieces

1/4 cup green peppers

To the cornmeal and 1 teaspoon salt, add boiling water. Cook one-half hour. Brown onion in fat, add meat. Add salt, 1/8 teaspoon cayenne, the tomatoes and green peppers. Grease baking dish, put in layer of cornmeal mush, add seasoned meat, and cover with mush. Bake one-half hour.

OATMEAL NUT BREAD

1 cake compressed yeast

2 cups boiling water

1/2 cup lukewarm water

2 cups rolled oats

1 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup brown sugar or 2 tablespoons corn syrup

2 tablespoons fat

4 cups flour

1/2 cup chopped nuts.

Pour two cups of boiling water over oatmeal, cover and let stand until lukewarm. Dissolve yeast and sugar in one-half cup lukewarm water, add shortening and add this to the oatmeal and water. Add one cup of flour, or enough to make an ordinary sponge. Beat well. Cover and set aside in a moderately warm place to rise for one hour. Add enough flour to make a dough--about three cups, add nuts and the salt. Knead well. Place in greased bowl, cover and let rise in a moderately warm place until double in bulk--about one and one-half hour. Mould into loaves, fill well-greased pans half full, cover and let rise again one hour. Bake forty-five minutes in a moderate oven.

WAR BREAD

2 cups boiling water

2 tablespoons sugar

1-1/2 teaspoons salt

1/4 cup lukewarm water

2 tablespoons fat

6 cups rye flour

1-1/2 cups whole wheat flour

1 cake yeast

To the boiling water, add the sugar, fat and salt. When lukewarm, add the yeast which has been dissolved in the lukewarm water. Add the rye and whole wheat flour. Cover and let rise until twice its bulk, shape into loaves; let rise until double and bake about 40 minutes, in a moderately hot oven.

SPLIT PEA PANCAKES

2 cups split peas

2 egg whites

1/3 cup flour

1 cup milk

2 egg yolks

2 tablespoons pork drippings

1/8 teaspoon cayenne

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoonful baking powder

Soak peas over night, cook, and when tender, put through a food chopper and mix the ingredients. Bake on hot greased griddle.

BREAD GRIDDLE CAKES

2 cups sour milk

2 cups bread

Let stand until soft

Put through colander. For each one pint use:

1 egg

1 teaspoon soda

2 teaspoons sugar

1/4 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup flour

1 egg beaten

Mix well; bake at once on hot greased griddle.

My Mom's Rolls

As far as I know, my great grandmother brought this recipe from England when she immigrated. She was a young WWI bride, leaving her family to go to the wilds of Canada to be with the young soldier she'd nursed back to health. She got to Canada before her letter saying she was en route did, consequently, my great grandfather was not there to meet her. Standing on the dock, with everything she owned and no where to go, knowing no one, she could have been prime meat for all sorts of disreputable people. Fortunately, a generous man took her home for the night, much to his wife's suspicious dismay, and then took her out by horse cart to go from farm to farm searching the countryside looking for my grandfather's family farm.

I grew up on this recipe. My mother uses it for everything from pizza dough to cinnamon rolls. Everyone who has my mother's rolls, never forgets them. I've spent many years trying to get them exactly like hers and while I've gotten close, I have come to believe that there must be some element of my mom's sweat itself that I am missing, gross as that may sound.

At any rate, since Thanksgiving is coming up and there is no gathering without these rolls, here you go, as she dictated to me many years ago. Having made at least one batch a week for the last 40 years, she doesn't use a recipe.

Hot Rolls
Dissolve one package yeast in 1/2 cup warm water. Add 1 1/2 cups warm water, 1 egg, 1 t salt, 1/2 cup oil, 1/3-1/2 cup sugar (depending on the final salt/sweet balance wanted). Add flour until the mixture is the consistency of cake batter. Set aside for one hour in a warm place until it doubles in size and gets all bubbly. At this stage it can be fried like pancake batter if wanted. Add more flour. Knead until the dough isn't sticky. Place it in a large bowl and smear shortening over the top. Place in the fridge, preferably overnight to let the flavor develop. One and a half hours before you want to serve them, make into rolls and let rise in a warm place. Bake approximately 15 minutes at 350.


Here's another Thanksgiving tradition at our house, one of my absolute favorites.

Three-Layer Chocolate Dessert
1 cup nuts, chopped
1 cup flour
1 cup butter
Press the above into a 9x13 pan. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.

8 oz. cream cheese
1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup cool whip
Mix and spread over cooled crust.

1 small box instant vanilla pudding
1 small box instant chocolate pudding
3 cups milk.
Mix and spread over the above. Spread more cool whip on top and sprinkle with nuts and shaved chocolate.


Just writing this is giving me cravings.

Potluck treasures

With Thanksgiving coming up, I’m looking back on various recipes collected from people at large gatherings and written into the margins of my main cookbook. Sometimes when you ask for a recipe at a potluck, you really mean it.

Penney brought this first one over for a holiday gathering for my spiritual group, it was so long ago I don’t remember which holiday, but let’s say sometime in fall or winter because its gooey and filling and would go well with a harvest theme.

Corn Casserole

1 17 oz can creamed corn

1 17 oz can whole corn with liquid

1 cup uncooked macaroni

½ cup melted butter

2 T chopped onion

2 T chopped green pepper

1 cup cubed processed cheese

Mix all the above and put in 2 quart casserole dish. Bake covered for 30 min and uncovered for 30 min at 350.

I don’t remember but I think the next one is Afghani. At least I have other Afghani soup recipes that use yogurt so it’s a safe bet. It’s also very healthy and tasty.

Yogurt Soup

1 med onion, chopped

½ stick butter

2 cup chicken broth

¼ cup pearl barley soaked overnight

¼ cup parsley

¼ cup dried mint

1 egg

2 cups yogurt

Lemon juice

Saute onion in butter. Add broth, simmer til just below boiling. Add drained barley and cook til tender, about 20 minutes. Add salt, pepper, parsley. Beat the egg and add it to the yogurt. Pour yogurt slowly into the broth, don’t boil or it will curdle. Simmer 10-15 minutes. Garnish with mint and a little lemon juice.

This next one took major arm twisting to get ahold of. I’ve never understood the idea of keeping a recipe a secret unless you’re like Colonel Sanders or something. So here I go, blowing all opportunities of becoming a franchise billionaire by posting the recipe for simply the best homemade ice cream EVER.

Liz’s Ice Cream

3 cups sugar

3 T cocoa

8 beaten eggs

As much milk as there is eggs

Mix the above and make into a custard on the stove over med heat, stirring constantly. Make sure you beat the eggs into it well or you will end up with scrambled eggs in your ice cream. It may curdle, and that’s okay.

Pour into ice cream freezer while still warm and add:

4 cups half and half

4 cups heavy cream

1 T vanilla

Freeze as directed.

I’ve also left out the cocoa and doubled the vanilla to make a vanilla version that was deadly good. Mexican vanilla. There’s nothing like Mexican vanilla in the world. And yet it’s illegal to sell it here, so get someone to sneak some across the border for you. It’s heavenly.

Tradition

I'm unimpressed. I pulled out the Better Homes and Gardens Holiday Cook Book from 1959 to see what ideas they might have for Thanksgiving. They have instructions for cooking a turkey, of course, nothing particularly riveting there, and roasting a chicken or cornish game hens. There's a recipe for giblet gravy, mushroom  wild rice, browned rice, apple-pineapple slaw, a jellied cranberry ring, and shrimp cocktail. Still not inspired. A recipe for tomato soup that involves combining canned tomato soup and beef broth. Whee. Orange-glazed sweet potatoes, butternut squash, pickled beets, and corn bread.

The page of "pretty trimmings" ideas doesn't wow me either. There's the idea of sticking chrysanthemums on the naked bone of the turkey legs, or poking spiced crab apples over them. There's the avant garde notion of blopping whipped cream on your pumpkin pie, or if you'd prefer, cut a slice of American cheese in half on the diagonal, and roll the resulting triangle into a cornucopia anchored with whole cloves. Arrange six of these in a pinwheel shape on top of your pumpkin pie. Cheese on apple pie: okay. Cheese on pumpkin pie: I don't think so.

I am neither comforted by old favorites or intrigued by new twists...and then I come to this:

"For tradition's sake, serve time-honored Creamed Onions. To lots of folks, it's not Thanksgiving unless this specialty is on the table. Our version has two Southern accents--cheese to enrich the sauce, peanuts for crunch and their own good flavor."

Creamed Onions
18-20 medium onions
1/3 cup salad oil
3 T flour
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup shredded process American cheese
peanuts, chopped

Peel onions and cook in a large amount of boiling, salted water until tender; drain. Blend oil and flour, stir in milk and cook slowly until thick, stirring constantly. Add the cheese and stir until melted. Add the onions and heat through. Place in vegetable bowl and sprinkle with peanuts.

Did I miss something? When did Creamed Onions become such a hallowed part of Thanksgiving traditions? I have never heard of this. My friends have never waxed nostalgically about their gramma's creamed onions. I don't remember Mr. Food telling us, "oooh, it's so good." Peppermint Patty didn't yell at Charlie Brown for not providing Creamed Onions as they sat around the ping pong table. There has to be some kind of editorial bias here: maybe it was traditional at HER family Thanksgivings but putting it in a book doesn't normalize it for the rest of us.

I'm going to write my own Thanksgiving chapter, it will include that great American favorite: hummus,  and that little pastel marshmallow overnight fruit salad my mom makes. What? That's what's on our table.

Bottom of the barrel

I'm not obsessed with baking powder, I'm really not. It's just that, in my every day cooking, the only thing I actually use recipes for is baking, otherwise cookbooks and recipes merely serve to inspire and obsess over my favorite addiction: food.  Baking however, is a more precise art, probably having more in common with chemistry than anything else. That means paying attention to an actual recipe. So in reading old cookbooks, I run into discussions of baking powder a lot. Of course, it helps that many of them are actually produced by the food companies as a way of promoting their product, like Royal, as in Royal Baking Powder.

This one is from 1930, click on the following picture and get a larger version so you can read the origin of cream of tartar.

Sometimes I ask myself, who decided to try that for the first time? Who said, "Hey, this cheese is completely overrun with some kind of green mold, I think I'll try some! Wow, it didn't kill me and it tastes great!" Who said, "Hey, that cat just pooped out a bunch of undigested coffee beans, I think I'll grind them up and drink 'em!" (If you think I'm kidding, look up Kopi Luwak coffee.) Who said, "What's this white crusty scum in our wine barrel? Let's throw some in our bread to see what happens." I mean, I don't get out of the shower and look at the soap film left behind and wonder if it's edible. Maybe I should, maybe it is. Truly, who discovered cream of tartar?

In case you want to know what the experts say, I won't leave you in suspense, here's the next page:

So if you also have a 'particular household', like myself, though I suspect many would say 'peculiar' instead, get yourself some cream of tartar baking soda. It's better than eating aluminum.

One food I can't live without

Ode to Cheese

God of the country, bless today Thy cheese, For which we give Thee thanks on bended knees. Let them be fat or light, with onions blent, Shallots, brine, pepper, honey; whether scent Of sheep or fields is in them, in the yard Let them, good Lord, at dawn be beaten hard. And let their edges take on silvery shades Under the moist red hands of dairymaids; And, round and greenish, let them go to town Weighing the shepherd's folding mantle down; Whether from Parma or from Jura heights, Kneaded by august hands of Carmelites, Stamped with the mitre of a proud abbess. Flowered with the perfumes of the grass of Bresse, From hollow Holland, from the Vosges, from Brie, From Roquefort, Gorgonzola, Italy! Bless them, good Lord! Bless Stilton's royal fare, Red Cheshire, and the tearful cream Gruyère.

FROM JETHRO BITHELL'S TRANSLATION OF A POEM BY M. Thomas Braun

“I cannot think why this cheese was not thrown from the aeroplanes during the war to spread panic amongst enemy troops. It would have proved far more efficacious than those nasty deadly gases that kill people permanently.” Eric Weir

“In early days a large cheese sufficed for a year or two of family feeding, according to this old note: "A big Cheddar can be kept for two years in excellent condition if kept in a cool room and turned over every other day." But in old England some were harder to preserve: "In Bath... I asked one lady of the larder how she kept Cheddar cheese. Her eyes twinkled: 'We don't keep cheese; we eats it.'"

“Roquefort: Homage to this fromage! Long hailed as le roi Roquefort, it has filled books and booklets beyond count. By the miracle of Penicillium Roqueforti a new cheese was made. It is placed historically back around the eighth century when Charlemagne was found picking out the green spots of Persillé with the point of his knife, thinking them decay. But the monks of Saint-Gall, who were his hosts, recorded in their annals that when they regaled him with Roquefort (because it was Friday and they had no fish) they also made bold to tell him he was wasting the best part of the cheese. So he tasted again, found the advice excellent and liked it so well he ordered two caisses of it sent every year to his palace at Aix-la-Chapelle. He also suggested that it be cut in half first, to make sure it was well veined with blue, and then bound up with a wooden fastening. Perhaps he hoped the wood would protect the cheeses from mice and rats, for the good monks of Saint-Gall couldn't be expected to send an escort of cats from their chalky caves to guard them--even for Charlemagne. There is no telling how many cats were mustered out in the caves, in those early days, but a recent census put the number at five hundred. We can readily imagine the head handler in the caves leading a night inspection with a candle, followed by his chief taster and a regiment of cats. While the Dutch and other makers of cheese also employ cats to patrol their storage caves, Roquefort holds the record for number. An interesting point in this connection is that as rats and mice pick only the prime cheeses, a gnawed one is not thrown away but greatly prized.”

The Stieff Recipe Basic Milk Rabbit (completely surrounded by a lake of malt beverages)

2 cups grated sharp cheese

3 heaping tablespoons butter

1-1/2 cups milk

4 eggs

1 heaping tablespoon mustard

2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

Pepper, salt and paprika to taste--then add more of each.

Grease well with butter the interior of your double boiler so that no hard particles of cheese will form in the mixture later and contribute undesirable lumps. Put cheese, well-grated, into the double boiler and add butter and milk. From this point vigorous stirring should be indulged in until Rabbit is ready for serving. Prepare a mixture of Worcestershire sauce, mustard, pepper, salt and paprika. These should be beaten until light and then slowly poured into the double boiler. Nothing now remains to be done except to stir and cook down to proper consistency over a fairly slow flame. The finale has not arrived until you can drip the rabbit from the spoon and spell the word finis on the surface. Pour over two pieces of toast per plate and send anyone home who does not attack it at once.

This is sufficient for six gourmets or four gourmands.

Nota bene: A Welsh Rabbit, to be a success, should never be of the consistency whereby it may be used to tie up bundles, nor yet should it bounce if inadvertently dropped on the kitchen floor.

After-Dinner Rabbit

Remove all crusts from bread slices, toast on both sides and soak to saturation in hot beer. Melt thin slices of sharp old cheese in butter in an iron skillet, with an added spot of beer and dry English mustard. Stir steadily with a wooden spoon and, when velvety, serve a-sizzle on piping hot beer-soaked toast.

All of the above found in the Complete Book of Cheese by Robert Carlton Brown, 1955.